After breaking up with my husband in 2006, I moved out of the family house and into my own place. Within a few months, he had met someone new and moved in with her, in Cardiff (around 200 miles away), taking with him my step-son, who was then 11 years old.
In the time since the break up, we were alternately fighting and being civil, but neither of us had filed for divorce, primarily because neither of us wanted to pay the court costs, and since we did not have any property in common, and neither wanted to remarry, it seemed pointless.
Then last Thursday, Patrick suffered a coronary thrombosis and died instantly.
In the last week I have run through every emotion possible, and it's been made far more difficult by the lack of preparedness.
Even if you are in perfect health, be prepared. If anything happens, your loved ones will already be grieving for you. On top of that, they don't need the extra problems that can come with a sudden death. Please, please take heed of these simple points.
Get Life Insurance. The cost will vary depending on your age and state of health, and how much cover you require, but the cost can be as little as £5 a month to insure yourself for £50,000. Often your motor or house insurer will offer a discount if you take life cover through them, so make that your first port of call. Check carefully for any exclusions for pre-existing illnesses. If you are over 50 and can't afford full life insurance, consider taking out a funeral plan instead, which will at least cover the expenses of your burial or cremation.
Start looking here
Also check if your employer offers any death-in-service benefit, and if they do, get some documentation on it, make sure you've filled out the relevant forms (usually called "Expression of wish") and handed them back to your Human Resources department. Not only that, but tell your relatives about it, because many of these benefits are never claimed.
We are still waiting to arrange my husband's funeral, because none of us can afford to pay the funeral fees upfront, so we have to wait for his girlfriend's claim to be approved by the benefits office. This means it could take up to a month for him to be buried.
Write down your wishes for your funeral. Many people may mention this lightly in passing to a partner, but then what happens when the wishes of the deceased's family contradict what he said to his partner? Having a document setting out your wishes - burial or cremation, in your current place of residence or hometown, even down to what music you would prefer - make it easy for everyone and means that the bereaved don't have the stress of trying to think what the deceased would have wanted.
You do not need a form or legal document for this, but you may find that your local cemetary and crematorium have a form or booklet that you can fill out. This will usually be called an "Advanced Funeral Wishes" form.
My husband's family were adamant that he should be brought back to his birth town for burial, but his partner and I know that he wanted to be buried in Cardiff. As his next of kin, the decision falls to me, luckily. This brings me to...
Ensure the legal status of your partner. If you have split from a spouse, file for divorce. Until that has happened, you are still each other's next of kin. If you have a new partner, and you want them to be your next of kin, marry them. Until you do, their wishes count for nothing, and can be overridden by your family members, or even by your ex-spouse. Don't let this happen.
If you're havering over whether or how to divorce, check out the information on wikivorce.com.
I have had to sign legal declarations absolving myself of responsibility for the burial arrangments and hand them over to Patrick's girlfriend. Until this happened, the Funeral Directors wouldn't even talk to her. Not what you want when you're grieving.
Make a will. You may think that this is irrelevant if you don't have any significant estate, but you never know when circumstances will change. You can write your own will from as little as £6.99, and it's very easy to do. Be aware that it could still be challenged by family members, but having a will is a great starting place, so that at least everyone knows what your wishes were at the time of writing.
There's a good guide to will writing here: Which? Will Writing Advice
Patrick didn't have any assets, only debts. But if he had, I would now be walking away with everything he owned, leaving his partner of two years, and his child, with nothing.
Keep important documents filed in a safe place. Your birth certificate, passport, and any other legal documents (residence order for kids, pension details, tax statements, divorce decree, drivers license, etc) should all be filed in a secure place that everyone knows about. You can get these from £25 and up. Search ebay, froogle or any department store for "secure document boxes".
Patrick's papers were in a complete mess at the time of his death, and his partner now has to search through everything looking for his documents and those for his child as well. Another horrible task made especially worse by the fact that the papers are all in the room where he died.
This all probably sounds very morbid and boring, but please - don't ever think that it couldn't happen to you and yours. Patrick was only 50 and had no warning whatsoever. Please don't leave your family with the type of mess that we are now facing. Do it now, please.
Good health and good wishes to all.
- Mood:
exhausted
In Dust Here Lies
In Hope To Life
Agane To Rise"
I think the date was about 1750.
Is anyone else thinking, "OMG ZOMBIES!"?
- Location:Chesterfield
- Mood: tired
(From Out Magazine's Out 100 2008)
I hope that's true and not apocryphal. Hahaha!
In other news: I'm not dead.
- Location:Eckington
- Mood:
amused
2. Diamonds or pearls? Depends on the setting. Hmm. Thinking about it,
I'd rather just have the cash.
3. Latest film in a cinema? Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal
Skulls.
4. Favourite TV series? Doctor Who, of course.
5. What did you have for breakfast? A bowl of Tesco's worryingly-named
"Special Flakes" and a yoghurt.
6. What's your middle name? Anne.
7. Favourite food? That's kind of difficult to pick, since I'm dieting
so stringently. Can I pick an imaginary pizza with no calories?
8. Which food don't you like? Brussel sprouts. Anything involving salad
cream (aka Demon Spunk.) Beetroot.
9. What's your favourite CD at the moment? Haven't played any CDs in
ages. I've got one of Eddie Izzard's concert albums on repeat on my MP3
player.
10. What car do you drive? Peugeot 306.
11. Favourite sandwich? Well, that would totally depend on how I feel at
any given meal occasion. Marmite and cheese is always good. Ham salad on
a poppyseed bread, that's good too. Sainsbury's low fat Ardennes Pate
and cherry tomatoes on crusty bread, that's good too.
12. Which human traits can't you stand? There are too many to name, but
indifference and wilful ignorance are probably the ones which make me
angriest.
13. What are your favourite clothes? Whatever fits.
14. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? I would like to
see China. Bit iffy under the current regime, though.
15. Favourite clothing brand? WTF? I dunno. Matalan?
16. Where would you like to retire? I hope I die before I get to
thinking about retirement. That sounds like hell. I hope I drop in my
traces.
17. Favourite time of day? Dawn.
18. Where were you born? Tunbridge Wells.
19. Which is your favourite sport to watch? I was going to say footie,
but it's actually a long time since I watched a match. It's not the same
when you're at home on your own with no beer and no fags.
20. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke with Lime.
21. Soccer or hockey? Soccer. (Who the fuck watched hockey?)
22. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Both.
23. Pedicure or manicure? Manicure. I can't stand anyone touching my
feet.
24. Any exciting news to share? Umm. No.
25. What did you want to become as a child? Independent.
26. Best childhood memory? I think I was pretty happy up to about age
11, but I can't think of a specific memory.
27. Ever been to Africa? No.
28. Ever rolled anybody in toilet paper? No. But I did let our Simon use
a roll to wrap me up like an Egyptian Mummy.
29. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yeah, a couple. Nothing
life-threatening, though.
30. Favourite day of the week? Saturday... Dr Who is on. Heh.
31. Favourite flower? Snapdragons.
32. Favourite - Hot dog or Chinese food? Chinese. A hot dog is not
"food".
33. Do you own a bike? No.
34. Who was you latest e-mail from? A spammer telling me that, "we can
sure offer high quality of all kinds of cosmetic brush. As powder brush,
kabuki brush, blush brush, eye shadow brush, eye brow brush, eye comb
brush, conceal brush, brush sets, makup brush, lip brush, eye liner
brush , fan brush,brush sets and so on."
35. Where would you like to shop more if you could afford to? eBuyer..
36. Bed time? About 10pm.
37. Latest person to share dinner with? Mum.
38. What are you up to now? I'm at work. It's all gone quiet.
39. Favourite colour? Purple.
40. How many tattoos? None.
started yesterday, but on the other, I feel like I've been here for
years!
I'm so so glad to be back in realtime! It's a really good team here,
split between this site in Chesterfield (brand new), York, and Tamworth.
My boss and one of the senior analysts from Tamworth have been here for
the past couple of weeks, showing me the ropes. This has been very
helpful, although I notice I've picked up a slight West Midlands twang
from them! They are very appreciative of my L33T XL SK1LLZ so I'm
keeping busy creating lots of new spreadsheets and stuff right now.
ALL UR FORMULAE R BELONG TO US!
The site here is nice - it's not brand new, but it's pretty modern.
We're leasing it from the Royal Mail, who have the sorting office next
door. Unlimited free vending machine drinks, which is nice (especially
after Otto, the tight sods) and a free gym (which I haven't yet
investigated.) The grounds back onto Queen's Park, which has a little
boating lake. So I've been going to eat my lunch down by the lake (well,
it's more of a pond really) so I can feed the geese and ducks
afterwards! The population seems to be mainly Canada geese and mallards,
although I did see a Moorhen yesterday, which was on the path!! Quite
surprising as they are usually very shy.
The only downside right now is that I'm the only analyst for
Chesterfield; they're still interviewing for a second position. This
means that I'm doing a hell of a lot of hours to try to cover this site
- I'm doing 8.30-5pm every day this week (inc Saturday) and next week
I'm on 8.30-6pm. On the other hand, this is the first role I've ever
known since my Friday-Ad days where I've been eligible for overtime, so
woohoo! My paypacket should look pretty good at the end of this month,
and I'll be putting the extra by to go towards a holiday next year.
I'm hoping to take Simon to Cyprus; I think he's old enough now to enjoy
himself without needing to be with other kids all the time or be
constantly demanding my attention. I'm looking at the Polis/Latchi area,
which is gorgeous and not overly developed (and hence quite reasonable.)
The coastline is beautiful (see first 5 shots here:
http://pics.livejournal.com/pocket_savi
the footpath below Aphrodite's Bath, just east of Latchi.)
I haven't said anything about this to Simon yet, because if it turns out
I can't afford it, or Pat doesn't want to let him out of school, I don't
want to disappoint him. I do feel a bit guilty about taking him out of
school, what with his learning problems, but on the other hand, there's
no way I could ever afford to take him during school holidays. Anyway,
it's not like it's an exam year or anything.
On that subject, he has been doing well with his reading during our
nightly phone call, although we are now at a bit of a hiatus, as the
book we were planning on doing next has gone missing, and I haven't
received my copy of the replacement. Nevertheless, I'm pleased with his
progress and he's been sticking to it without any tantrums (so far,
haha.)
And now for the extraordinary random occurrence.
Last year, when I started indexing my comics and listing them on eBay, I
was musing about old times and wondering how my old friend and colleague
Simon Smith was doing.
http://pocket-saviour.livejournal.com/1
cos I'm posting by email and every time I try, I fail spectacularly.)
Yesterday morning, I signed on and had a notice that I'd sold 4
comics... to a Mr Simon Smith of Tunbridge Wells!
OMGWTFBBQ!
So I sent an enquiring email, and there was much "oh my gosh, it's
YOU!"-ing, and exchanging of news!
And the most totally weird and random thing of all is that I BOUGHT
THOSE COMICS FROM SIMON IN THE FIRST PLACE!!
Beat that, Carl Jung!
- Mood:
mellow
OK let me start with two short(ish) entries:
I have a job again! I interviewed at CPP in Chesterfield on Thursday, and on Friday morning they offered me the job. Go me! It's Platform Analyst (aka realtime analyst) and it's a drop from my Otto salary, but there's about 2.5k in benefits, and it's BACK IN REAL TIME! and out of the hell of forecasting! WIN!
I'm starting on 16th June - not sure what my hours will be yet, they're open 8-8 so probably one week earlies, one week lates. The building is really nice, in a great position right in the shopping area, so I'll be able to get bits and pieces when I feel like it, unlike being stuck out on the industrial estate and if you want to go out at lunchtime you have to break the speed limit to be back within your lunch break (honest, Officer, that's the only reason I was speeding...)
Simon has not been getting on very well at school, so I went down to see him this Tuesday/Wednesday just gone. We had a good chat about his schoolwork, and a lot of the problems are stemming from his difficulties with reading/writing. So we made an agreement that he's going to read to me over the phone every night, and he's also going to write me a letter once a week (the bribe with the latter being that I will reply, and if his letter was good then I'll put a little treat in there.) He has also promised to pay more attention in some of his other lessons.
As well as chatting about school, of course we also hung out and had a good time. We went to see the latest Indiana Jones film on the Tuesday night. It was silly and preposterous and highly enjoyable! On Wednesday we went to visit Wookey Hole Caves in Somerset, which was very interesting and a good day out.
Drove back on Wednesday night after dropping Simon back at Pat's. Had a good talk with Simon about not creating a fuss and upsetting us both, and he was very very good, bless him.
Need to blog about the holiday in Cyprus now, but I'll do that separately because the LJ editor always goes a bit funny with cuts and html combined...
- Location:Westfield
- Mood:
bouncy
This will only be a fairly quick one (hurr hurr) because it's quite late and Mum's dragging me out shopping tomorrow morning. I'm writing this in between seemingly endless test renders of G2 James's nipples. This is a path I've trodden before, and I probably couldn't be blamed for giving up and leaving it at my lo-res freebie, but I decided that since I have this time off work I should bloody well get some stuff done, because once I'm working again I certainly won't have time.
Trust me when I say that playing with man-nipples for several hours isn't as much fun as it sounds, when they're digital.
Anyway, things are going along fine here. I had Simon for a week over the Easter holidays, while Mum went to stay in Filey for a week, since she didn't think she could cope with the noise and disruption. Probably a good choice ;-)
We were blessed with great weather while Simon was here, and we took full advantage of it by going to Alton Towers mid-week. We took Simon's friend Daniel, which was a great choice as he was actually wanting to go on the rides unlike when we took James last year. We went on nearly every ride in the park but unfortunately ran out of time before we could get on the new Battle Galleons ride. Probably not a bad thing as my back was quite painful by then as I had got an unexpected jolt on the Log Flume ride.
I always wish I could take a camera with me to Alton, but there's no way mine will fit in my pocket, and I don't like to take a bag in with me. They sell that "Your Day" thing, but it's an extra £20 each...
Actually... I've been thinking of treating myself to a day at Alton on my own. If I went mid-week, when the kids are at school, I bet I could get on every ride, especially as a single rider (because you get priority queuing on most of the big rides.) Buuu-uuut... a) it's £25 and b) about half the fun of rollercoaster rides is getting off the other end and going "Fucking hell, that was amazing, man! Let's go again!" to your friend/partner/whatever...
Oyyy... I need to decide what to do with this texture set. The model whose photos I used for the texture has got some really nasty dry skin/eczema on his thighs, and whilst it looks very realistic, it's not very attractive... I'm also debating whether to enlarge the texture map for the body to 6144x5200, because at the current res, the inefficiency of the body texture map make the lack of detailing a real problem. It's incredibly hard to match the head to neck, for example, because the head texture is, pixel for pixel, about 10 times the size of the body.
Wow... I've just realised his knees need major work as well. They look really dry and cracked. I want to rub some E45 cream on them, LOL.
OK gonna finish up and go to bed, I need to work on this tomorrow, preferably with coffee on hand. Let's hope Mum can be persuaded that shopping should only take 30 minutes MAXIMUM, and if you haven't found anything to wear within that time, you should go home...
- Location:Westfield, Sheffield
- Mood:
creative - Music:Thin Lizzy - Dancing in the Moonlight (ftw!)
Mum and I have been talking about her selling her flat and moving up here with me since last year, when she realised she was going to have to sell up due to her lack of earnings while she was looking after Grandma.
She received an offer on her flat just before Christmas, but there have been really ridiculous delays on the completion, mainly because the solictor for the buyer at the bottom of the chain was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard.
The week after Grandma's funeral, we finally got notice that the sale was going through, but without much notice: completion date was just 5 days' time!
So whilst Mum was in a frenzy of packing, I went into work the next day and gave my notice in, the plan being for Mum to support me for a couple of months with the leftover money from her sale, until I get something a lot more to my taste.
My boss, being eager to get rid of me, agreed to release me that Friday, which was very handy with Mum arriving the following Monday!
There were, of course, last minute unpleasantnesses with my unpleasant boss, including her spitefully removing my systems access completely on the Thursday - which meant that I arrived on the Friday, having caught two buses to work (since my car was being fixed) to find I had nothing I could do, and that of course I couldn't salvage any of my spreadsheets which I'd produced and send them to myself at home for future use. (All resource planners do this when quitting a job. When you've spent nigh on 15 hours crafting a macro or pivot table from scratch, believe you me, you want to get all of the use out of it that you can!)
Anyway, nuts to all that, I'm free, free, free! Goodbye Otto with your stupid, stuck-in-the-seventies ideas about call centre management! Goodbye Evil BitchBoss, with your witless shoe-and-handbag fetish! Hahahaha!
Anyway, as I was saying, Mum arrived on the following Monday, and for the last two weeks, we've been settling in nicely, getting all Mum's stuff unpacked (well, most of it - we haven't got room to unpack it all.) We've had to go pretty slowly, because Mum had a really dreadful cough and cold when she arrived, which of course she then passed on to me, so we've both been hacking and sneezing and using masses of tissues, cough sweets and Night Nurse.
Mum tried to persuade me to sell all my comics as a job lot, but I refused, so we managed to find some better storage options for them, and at present I'm re-cataloging and indexing them, and will be listing a goodly bulk on eBay again, but definitely retaining a good number that I just refuse to ever sell. I suppose in some ways I'm a bit silly, because (for example) all of the Sandman comics, I've got in trade paperback collections. But at the same time, I can't bear the thought of letting them go, and not just because the value's going up, either. They're part of me, part of the person I was then, on my way to who I am now.
I've had a few nice surprises as I've gone through, too. A few older first editions, nothing spectacular, but certainly worth a few quid. And some things I'd completely forgotten about: an old copy of Sandman 23 which Simon Smith and I, in a fit of boredom one evening, decided to edit with our own wording for every other character but Morpheus. (The cover had got ripped, and we both already had another pristine copy.) I might have to upload some scans of some of the more inspired pages; I reckon the Fair Use clause on satire should allow me to print a few panels without enraging the copyright gods.
It's been nice having Mum here - it's horrible being on your own when you're ill. Although of course she gave me the bloody thing in the first place, so perhaps that evens out, LOL. But it IS nice having her here; I know she will push me to get out and get some exercise more, which should help with the weightloss thing (which is still going well; 15lbs lost now.)
The cats have definitely got used to Mum and are enjoying having someone around who sits on the sofa more often, although neither of them are really lap cats.
Mum has given both me and our Lucy a bit of money as a present, so I have blown mine (and some of me own money) on a new PC, which should arrive next week. It's a custom job, with 4gb RAM, a dual-core 2.3ghz processor, two HDDs, a lightscribe DVD writer, a TV card, internal card reader, AND a new TFT widescreen monitor. GEEKGASM!
- Location:Westfield
- Mood: amused
So last Wednesday it was time to say goodbye to Grandma.
I drove down on Tuesday via Wales (in order to pick Simon up.) This made my entire journey approx 900 miles in three days, ouch.
We had a cremation at T.Wells crem at 12, and then a memorial service at Hartfield church at 1pm, followed by a wake at The Anchor afterwards.
There was a bit of a panic mid-morning, as
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
lucy_pointycat and rhandolph were catching the bus up to Mum's, and the damn thing never showed up. Thankfully they were able to get one to Lewes, so I drove down and picked them up there. Not the most auspicious start to the day.
My Aunty Val (who is a florist) did all the flowers, and they were lovely. Grandma would have loved them.
I think most of us were in tears at the crem. I lost it halfway through singing Psalm 23. By the time we got to the church, we were pretty much cried out, and Mum and I managed to give our two-part eulogy without breaking down, which was good, and by all accounts we did a good job.
The wake was extremely subdued - as our Lucy remarked, "Our family don't really know how to have fun, do they?" I suppose having several alcoholics in the family tree does tend somewhat to put the dampers on.
Walked down to the village with Lucy, Rhandolph and Simon. Went into Pooh Corner, where Grandma worked for several years. It's expanded quite considerably since those days. Chatted with the owner, Mike, for a while, but had to leave before having an unfortunate wallet accident. Everyone knows what a sucker I am for Pooh memorabilia. When Grandma was working there, every Xmas and birthday would bring me a present that was Pooh-related :-)
Walked up to the rec (recreation ground aka playground) with Simon and Rhandolph, where they both had a go on the slide and swings. Rhandolph got muddy trousers, and I got muddy boots.
Everyone left by about 5pm, so we went back to Mum's for a cuppa, and then I drove L&R back to Brighton, where we played with their incredibly cute kittens for a bit.
Wednesday I drove back, via Wales. Simon was very clingy and did not want to go back at all, so we had one of those sessions just before I dropped him off. Very exhausting, especially on top of a funeral. Still, he was very very well-behaved the whole time we were there, and it was such a short visit, I can't ask for more, really.
I was so exhausted on Friday that I called in to my boss to ask for an extra day's holiday, or alternatively I'd have to take it as sick since I was waaaay too tired to work. There has now been a fuss over that since she was on holiday (which I didn't know since she'd said to me on Monday "see you Friday") and didn't pick up her voicemail. More on that later in the week, probably.
- Location:Carbrook, Sheffield
- Mood:
listless
( White shores... and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise )
( FOTR Scene 1: Prologue )
- Location:Carbrook, Sheffield
- Mood:
cheerful
- Location:Carbrook, Sheffield
- Mood: calm
I've been obsessively watching and re-watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy these past few weeks, originally inspired by catching a sequence by sequence discussion of each film over at Barrowdowns.com.
I think the only way I'm going to exorcise my obession is to talk about the films fairly excessively for a while - and then perhaps I can actually get something else in the DVD player...
First, a little bit of background.
I've read the trilogy only once, and that many years ago. Although I had adored The Hobbit (my cherished copy is now very battered from countless re-readings) I found the Rings books very hard-going. Perhaps it was because I was at a very low ebb in my life when I read them, but I never lost myself in Middle Earth the way other people seem to do. Never read Silmarillion or the Unfinished Tales or any of the other bits.
So in many ways I came to the films as the perfect audience: having a good appreciation and understanding of Middle Earth, but without the encyclopaedic knowledge which would make me scream "Heresy!" at story changes.
I didn't see the films at the cinema (though god! I wish now that I had) because in those days I was a smoker, and I found it hard to sit through a kids' film, let alone a 3-hour epic, without a cig. Also, I've always been one for ignoring films that are getting hyped to death; I'm a bit of a snob in that regard.
So let me state now and for the record that I believe these films to be the finest ever made in the history of cinema to date. They transport me to Middle Earth in a way that the books never achieved.
But that's not to say that they don't have faults. Some of the acting can be a little wooden, and the dialogue clunks at times. Some of the action is ill-conceived and unneccesary. But the films transcend all this to become something that's somehow greater than the sum of their parts.
I'm going to start by discussing the cast and characters. And then I'm going to go through the films more-or-less scene by scene. And by the time I'm finished, maybe I'll have moved on!
- Location:Carbrook, Sheffield
- Mood:
contemplative
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Had more than 4 weeks off work on the sick.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any for this year. I will be starting new medication in 2008 and I will be making some "resolutions" around improving my health.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No humans, but Lucy and Rhandolph's beloved Leo passed away.
5. What countries did you visit?
Wales, but only in order to collect Simon.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Better health. More time with Simon. A decent job.
7. What date(s) from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 23rd, Lucy and Rhandolph's wedding.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Oooo, something I found out about on Tuesday, but it hasn't been officially announced yet :-)
9. What was your biggest failure?
Putting on yet more weight :-(
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Continued back pain.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I'm gonna have to go with my sat nav.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Simon has been remarkably mature, under the circumstances of being uprooted and taken away from me to Cardiff.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My boss's >:-[
14. Where did most of your money go?
It seemed to just go on bits and bobs. I spent a really big chunk having a professional photo set done with Simon.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Pirates of the Carribbean 3 coming out. And series 3 of Dr Who!
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
I reckon "Rain Down Love" by Freemasons, although "Uninvited" (also by Freemasons) is giving the former a run for its money.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter (again)
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spending time with Simon, but then that wasn't really an option.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eating...
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I'll be collecting Simon from Cardiff early Sunday morning, and we'll be spending Xmas at my house. All the shopping is done, we'll be having roast turkey with all the trimmings :o)
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
No.
22. How many one-night stands?
One.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Gonna have to go with Dr Who again.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't like thinking of myself as a hater, but YES.
25. What was the best book you read?
I'm going to have to go with David Baddiel's "Whatever Love Means". Great plot, good writing, and provided the useful phrase, "He's not just a cunt. He's off the cuntometer."
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I've listened to/watched a lot of Shakira this year, but that's more about the hypnotic arse than anything else, LOL
27. What did you want and get?
A new critique forum and gallery on Renderosity.
28. What did you want and not get?
Improved health. Enough time with Simon.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I haven't been to the flicks much this year. I'm going to have to go with Pirates 3, even though it was over-long and not as good as previous efforts.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Nothing really, I was working.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not having taken this job.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
I wouldn't.
33. What kept you sane?
Music.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Gonna have to go with David Tennant this year, although David Duchovny has reappeared on my radar.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
I have to say I haven't really focussed on politics at all this year.
36. Who did you miss?
Simon :-(
37. Who was the best new person you met?
What an odd question. I've met quite a few new people this year thanks to changing jobs, and most of them suck. I suppose I will have to nominate the only one who doesn't suck...
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Don't ever assume your boss knows what they're doing just because they're the boss.
39. Sum up 2007 in one word.
"Forgettable"
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Maybe there's no haven in this world for tender age
My heart beat like the wings of wild birds in a cage
My greatest hope my greatest cause to grieve
And my heart flew from its cage and it bled upon my sleeve
Oh the cries of passion were like wounds that needed healing
I couldn't hear them for the thunder
I was half the naked distance between hell and heaven's ceiling
And he almost pulled me under
Now someone's on the telephone, desperate in his pain
Someone's on the bathroom floor doing her cocaine
Someone's got his finger on the button in some room
No one can convince me we aren't gluttons for our doom
But I tried to make this place my place
I asked for providence to smile upon me with his sweet face
But I'll tell you
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
And I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
(by grace, my sight grows stronger)
And I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
(grows stronger)
By grace
(my place is of the sun)
My sight
(and this place is of the dark)
Is growing stronger
(I do not feel the romance)
I will not be a pawn
(I will not be)
For the prince of darkness any longer
(Prince of Darkness - Indigo Girls)
- Location:Carbrook, Sheffield
- Mood: thoughtful
I love books, as any fule kno.
I am not a snob about my reading matter; I prefer that books say something at least, but if caught short without a decent book I can and have read anything from the back of a box of cornflakes to the Financial Times or one of the more garish "women's magazines" (Pick Me Up, Chat, Take a Break, etc.)
(That said, I was once reading Pick Me Up in the doctor's surgery while waiting for my appointment, and was so disgusted by one article that I made a kind of involuntary "ugh" noise and facial spasm. The guy sitting across from me leaned over and asked me if I was alright, as he thought I was having some kind of fit!)
But no matter how short of reading material I am, there is one genre that I will never touch, and that is the abomination that is "chick lit". Let us examine the reasons why.
1. The appellation of "lit" should supposedly stand for "literature". Nothing could be further from the truth. Literature is widely defined as imaginative or creative writings generally regarded as having artistic value. There is little of any value in these books, let alone artistry.
2. Almost every book in this genre uses curly, girly, script-type fonts, usually Curlz MT or Girls Are Weird. Just so, you know, the reader doesn't make the mistake of thinking that this book is in any way serious. No! Its author tossed off the work while enjoying a few cups of frothy coffee.
3. The titles are always appalling puns on well-known phrases or titles. From Here to Maternity. Looking for Mr Write. Bad Heir Day. Azur Like It. I mean, "Azur Like It"?! That sound you hear is probably Shakespeare not just turning in his grave, but spinning like a top.
4. Every book in this class that I've made the mistake of reading contains clunky dialogue, laughably predicatable plotlines, and clumsy errors of grammar. "Her eyes literally flew out of their sockets"; "'Who's there?' she gasped." (Come to think of it, they have a great deal in common with the type of writing in Pick Me Up et al's Readers' True Stories.)
I suppose you could consider that these books are the natural modern successor to Mills & Boon, Harlequin romance, Jilly Cooper, etc. The difference, though, is that nobody used to pretend that Mills & Boon was in any way adding to the literature of a generation, and the paperbacks were always confined to the Romance section in libraries and bookshops alike. "Chick Lit", however, is spread across the shelves like some sort of creeping plague.
Why is it so difficult for serious women writers to be recognised, published and stocked? Why is it that my local library has dozens, probably hundreds of these shoddy books on display, yet I could only find two Margaret Atwoods, three Fay Weldons, two Alice Walkers, no Shena McKays, no Alice Thomas Ellis, no Jayne Anne Phillips, and just one - one! - Joyce Carol Oates?
Finding something decent to read is becoming more of a task every month.
Perhaps I'm unfairly singling out the frothy female crapmeisters, because there are certainly utterly crappy and inconsequential books by men a-plenty. (James Masterton, Dan Brown, John Grisham and - going back a few years - Sidney Sheldon spring to mind.) But then, if I wanted, I could have chosen between six of Thomas Hardy's books, two Hanif Kurieshis, three Irvine Welshes, seven or eight Ian McEwans, three Kazuo Ishiguros, and so on, and so on.
Hanif Kurieshi has written five books, of which two were available. That's 40%. Joyce Carol Oates has written thirty-five published books, of which one was available. A less-than-encouraging figure of 3%.
I don't even know whether to blame this situation on the library councils, book sellers, publishing companies, or on the reading public for being so endlessly and disappointingly undiscriminating.
I do know that there are good female writers who are as pissed off as I am to find their work patronisingly labelled as "chick lit" and publicised as such with the crappy fonts. Cecilia Aherne and Kathy Lette spring instantly to mind, there, although Lette must take her share of the blame for the fad of punning titles; her Altar Egos, Mad Cows and Foetal Attraction clearly paved the way for a host of pale imitators.
The real shame of it is that my disdain for the label means I automatically skim over any book featuring curly fonts, punning titles or pink swirly illustrations on the cover - which could mean that I'm missing out on some great new authors just because their publishers have tried to shoehorn them into a box. But life is short, my reading list is long, and I simply don't have time to waste on the off-chance of discovering a gem amongst the mountains of dross.
- Location:Carbrook, Sheffield
- Mood: annoyed
Scaffolding!
There are two blokes putting up some scaffolding about 10 feet behind my desk, at the edge of the gangway which leads to the canteen.
They have been at it since about half nine this morning.
So far they've managed to get half the struts the wrong way round, partially disassembled it, reassembled it, wandered off for a tea break, come back and disassembled part of it again, and they are now reading the instructions with a very puzzled air.
What I'm really hoping for is that they'll finally get the thing up, climb up it to the staggering height of 12 feet, change one lightbulb, and then take the thing to bits again. Fucking Health and Safety, eh?
(Well, either that, or my second choice is that they accidentally drop one of the struts over the side and it lands on the Oli team pod, where it should prove an interesting focal point for many months to come. This has already nearly happened twice, so I think I'm in with a good chance, there.)
- Location:Carbrook, Sheffield
- Mood: amused
Went out to town last Friday with lots of the old resource planning gang from Crapita, including those of us who have moved on, and new boy Kieran, who disappeared halfway through the evening but seems a nice fella.
We started off in East 1 noodle bar off West Street, where we were served such enormous portions that none of us could finish (except Owen, who scoffed the lot!) and the quality was good, but the seating was that kind of wooden bench refectory-style which seems to be in fashion right now and plays merry hell with my back.
To our ever-lasting shame, nobody could work out how to split the bill equally nine ways, without using the calculator function of their mobiles. EXCEPT ME! Hahaha :-)
We then went on for drinks at a couple of pubs and then ended up back at Rhys' for a nightcap and an intellectual discussion about the merits of Shakira's videos. No, really. OK, it wasn't that intellectual, LOL. And once more I had terrible trouble getting a cab until I phoned Mercury, who have now moved to number one slot on my list.
Had to go into work on Sunday and Monday morning to run the [insert appropriate epithet here] reports in preparation for my holiday due to Mum coming to visit. The damn MI didn't turn up on Sunday, so that was a complete waste of a journey to work, although I did spend the four hours before I gave up productively updating Facebook, which I am now favouring over MySpace since it has far less spammers and security holes.
So Mum arrived on Monday afternoon, and then spent the next 24 hours cleaning my house. No lie. To be fair, I hadn't been able to clean properly for some time due to my back pain, but also (as all the world knows) I fucking hate cleaning anyway. So I was quite happy to get a free cleaning service! She even bought her own equipment!
So that took care of most of Tuesday, and on Wednesday we went out to Castleton with the intention of having a good walk, but unfortunately it started pissing down with rain, so after poking through the village for a bit (where i nearly had a wallet accident in a secondhand bookshop) and visiting the church, we decamped to the Plough at Hathersage for some lunch.
Waved Mum goodbye on Thursday morning and then into the bank for a review with my "personal account manager", a very nice lady called Helen who has managed to save me nearly £80 a month on my loan repayments by renegotiating it in the face of complete indifference from head office. Hooray! On a similar note, I got my Xmas bonus from Renderosity, and very nice it was too.
Caz came up this weekend for a girly night (well, as girly as you can get with us two, i.e. not very) which was great, as we haven't seen each other for at least two years. Went out and ate at Sheikhs, and made a fair dent in a bottle of Kahlua, and stayed up til after 4am yattering away about everything under the sun, and then carried on in the morning. Which explains why I had a sore throat the next day, LOL. We both said that we mustn't leave it so long next time!
And now I am at work, and it's just indescribably meh. The night out last Friday made me realise how much I miss having colleagues that I actually get on with. I even miss Owen's sarcasm and scathing remarks! I've just got nothing in common with the people I work with here. Well, the bloke I sit next to is a good laugh, but everyone else is just on another planet.
Nick said he missed my evil cackle, hahaha. And Liz said it's no fun in the morning there any more because they can't listen to my team fielding ridiculous excuses on the absence line!
Oh well better go, as Totalview has FINALLY generated the skill plan...
- Location:Carbrook, Sheffield
- Mood: blah
